No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When are your genitals available?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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