So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Someone came in the potted fern
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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