hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
