hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
