dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
