I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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