We named our party play list daddy issues
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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