I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
