u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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