a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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