remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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