I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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