She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
