3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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