Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
