i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
