put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
