The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i think i just lost a toe
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
