Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
