dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
