Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
