I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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