real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
