I like to think it a success when the cops are called
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
