Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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