I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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