in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
