Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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