Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Everything about him screamed your future.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
