i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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