okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
