I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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