I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
