ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
NoShamevember. You game?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
