The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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