ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
