My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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