I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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