what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
