I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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