Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Success! We fucked roommates!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
