i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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