I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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