ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
