I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
that's an acceptable place to lick
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
