Will you blow on my dice?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have fence marks all over my body
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
