ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
