Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
