Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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