u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
