3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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