I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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