im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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