He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
